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CROWDS WERE WAITING impatiently with all their devotion and
enthusiasm. I was also waiting anxiously to meet, rather I
would say, to have darshan. SHIVABALAYOGI (to Whom I would
later dedicate my life) was coming to give darshan on the
invitation of His devotees of Mysore. I was growing restless
and hoped He would not cancel the visit. Devotees were singing
Bhajan's (devotional-songs) inside that hall where He was
coming. I was absorbed in my own world of thoughts about Him.
I thought again, “Is He the one for whom I have been
waiting since long?” Something from within told me that
I belong to Him and know Him since time immemorial.
I was in search of a GURU of the calibre of Paramahamsa Sri
Ramakrishna and Maharishi Sri Ramana, whose teachings and
life had left an impact on my mind. The eighth century Saint
and Sage, Adi Shankara's “Bhaja Govindam Moodamathe”
had powerfully effected me. The meaning runs like this, “Sing
the glorious name of the Lord. Oh! fool do not waste your
time, when death will claim this body, none of the worldly
knowledge can come to your rescue. This had a mesmerising
effect on the mind, of the transitory phase of the world and
I always felt a thirst to know the immortal ultimate truth.
Though I got all the love and care at home, I used to miss
something unknown to me. I used to feel a peculiar emotional
pain which I could never explain to any one else. I used to
feel restless at the sight of the world. A funny thought used
to occur, ”Is there any way or any technology to switch
off the entire universe?” Thus started my quest for
such a GURU who could be my everything.
Since my childhood I always loved Solitude, Peace and Tranquillity.
The days passed into several years, always looking for peace
in a serene atmosphere of a temple and wondering about birth
& death, of the existence of Self, beyond this universe.
At the same time lack of universal brotherhood, and failure
of Mankind to love, honor and live for each other always pained.
Father passed away when I was thirteen. I was the youngest
at a home, with three brothers and a sister, who all loved
me so much. Yet I missed something that was inexplicable.
My problem was different from others, “Why is it that
there is no unwavering peace? Why does it fluctuate, giving
unhappiness, tense moments, fear... the fear of death particularly.
Are we going to become extinct or do we really exist, beyond
this life as immortal souls, out of the clutches of this transitory
universe? Something told me from within, one day I will definitely
meet the GURU, but where is HE? I was immersed in these thoughts,
the all pervading Swami, where are You? I don't know Who or
What You are, but I know I am waiting to rejoin You. Well,
finally that year came...the year 1971.Those days at Mysore,
morning and evenings, were spent quietly in a corner of the
Temple nearby where we lived, absorbed in the thoughts of
the Guru and the Ultimate Truth.
One day in the evening, I was sitting quietly in a corner
of the Hanuman temple near my house. I was absorbed in my
own thoughts of birth, death and Guru, where He was and when
He would come to me. Suddenly I heard a voice whispering loudly
in my ear. It said: "What are you doing sitting here?
Shivabalayogi is your Guru. He will take you away with Him.
You have been born for the mission". Suddenly I looked
up but did not see anybody there. I had heard only a voice.
I wondered who it could be and kept thinking about what the
voice had said as I went home.
I remembered the name Shivabalayogi clearly. For the next
few days I went to all the temples of the town with the thought
that the being who had whispered to me might be there and
that I might be able to recognise him somehow. I thought he
might be able to tell me more about Shivabalayogi, who he
was and where he was, but this did not happen. Some days passed
without any fruitful information about Shivabalayogi. One
day I was walking in the town and I heard this inner voice
again, as if coming from the crowd, saying,"Go to Raghavendraswami
Temple!" Raghavendraswami was a seventeenth century poet-Saint
of Karnataka in South India. The voice continued, "There
you will learn about your Guru.”
Thrilled, I looked around to see if anyone was there speaking
to me. I wondered, who it could be that is speaking to me?
Was it the same being who had told me about the Guru in that
temple near my home? Then why did he not himself tell me more
about my Guru? I thought I must go to the temple as the mysterious
voice had instructed. It was five o'clock in the evening when
I went to the temple.
Next
page
| I found about
HIM in the temple
1, 2, 3
Copyright
2001 Shiva Rudra Balayogi
This
page was published July 5, 2001
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| Babaji's
guru, Sri Sri Sri Shivabalayogi Maharaj |
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